What is Normal, Anyway?
When I was 17 I had a serious life plan. Go to college, graduate in 4 years with my elementary education degree (getting me out of college at age 21), be married by age 23, and have my first baby at 25.
So I graduated college in 5 years, changed my major, and changed schools, broke up with my boyfriend at age 21, and then decided to move to North Carolina at age 23, met a new boyfriend, and broke up with him at age 25.
So much for my life plan.
Looking back at my little plan I had for myself, I would have been miserable. And just thinking of me with a baby? Well, that makes me cringe a little (I will keep my nephew and the unborn twins- because I can give them back to my sister when I'm done).
Yesterday, one of my friends shared with me something really tragic that happened to her she's 26 and lost her baby. After crying and trying to be a good friend- I started looking around at my friends.
I have several friends with fertility issues. I have several friends that got married before they were even 21. I have friends with multiple children already. I have single friends that have no desire to settle down any time soon. I have people from all walks of life that I looked around and realized, whoever came up with the "American Dream" of a spouse, home, white picket fence, and 2 children before age 30, was kind of a jerk.
Why do we still live in a society where we put so much pressure on ourselves and each other to have this "perfect" life. Who knows what is perfect for the person next to them? No one.
Those people who want to be engaged for 7 years- maybe that's what makes them happy. Maybe some people honest to God just don't want children. That doesn't make them bad people, it makes them honest. And maybe, we should treat those women with fertility issues like humans, instead of like charity cases- I bet they'd appreciate feeling "normal" now and then.
The point is, it is easy to look at someone's life from the outside and see what they're doing, and assume it is strange or abnormal. But what works for some people, doesn't always work for everyone. It's a shame that we live this way, and even more of a shame that we MAKE people feel this way.
If I end up an old maid with my kittens, I can promise you, I will still be happier than if I had married any of the three boyfriends I had. I may even adopt a baby in there somewhere, and it can play with the cats too. Try not to judge, because I'll probably be really happy in life. I only hope for that for you too.
So I graduated college in 5 years, changed my major, and changed schools, broke up with my boyfriend at age 21, and then decided to move to North Carolina at age 23, met a new boyfriend, and broke up with him at age 25.
So much for my life plan.
Looking back at my little plan I had for myself, I would have been miserable. And just thinking of me with a baby? Well, that makes me cringe a little (I will keep my nephew and the unborn twins- because I can give them back to my sister when I'm done).
Yesterday, one of my friends shared with me something really tragic that happened to her she's 26 and lost her baby. After crying and trying to be a good friend- I started looking around at my friends.
I have several friends with fertility issues. I have several friends that got married before they were even 21. I have friends with multiple children already. I have single friends that have no desire to settle down any time soon. I have people from all walks of life that I looked around and realized, whoever came up with the "American Dream" of a spouse, home, white picket fence, and 2 children before age 30, was kind of a jerk.
Why do we still live in a society where we put so much pressure on ourselves and each other to have this "perfect" life. Who knows what is perfect for the person next to them? No one.
Those people who want to be engaged for 7 years- maybe that's what makes them happy. Maybe some people honest to God just don't want children. That doesn't make them bad people, it makes them honest. And maybe, we should treat those women with fertility issues like humans, instead of like charity cases- I bet they'd appreciate feeling "normal" now and then.
The point is, it is easy to look at someone's life from the outside and see what they're doing, and assume it is strange or abnormal. But what works for some people, doesn't always work for everyone. It's a shame that we live this way, and even more of a shame that we MAKE people feel this way.
If I end up an old maid with my kittens, I can promise you, I will still be happier than if I had married any of the three boyfriends I had. I may even adopt a baby in there somewhere, and it can play with the cats too. Try not to judge, because I'll probably be really happy in life. I only hope for that for you too.
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