Times Being a Single Girl Sucks

*Note, this is not a real screen shot of my phone, though I would not put it past my mom to send me this

Did you know that in order to get a blu-ray player to play HD movies onto your HD tv, you apparently need an HDMI cable to connect the two? Same goes for Apple TV. Those cables- are not cheap. Like, I could buy a really cute top for the price of that damn cable.

I learned this tonight as I was researching what TV to buy for my apartment that I move into next month. On top of that, I'm opting for the Hulu Plus, Netflix, AppleTV streaming choices rather than cable- so I had to look into what Internet speed I needed. Oh and I had to figure out what kind of antenna you need to get to access local TV. 

My head was spinning. I called my dad at LEAST 3 times tonight. He's really sick of hearing from me this week. 

This was a prime example of one of those few times I hate being single. 

Most of you know, I kind of love being single. In fact, my friends have gotten to the point of begging me "oh my gosh just give this guy a MONTH before you decide he's worthless." Most of them don't last a month. Any man who has lasted a month has sorely disappointed me in one way or another shortly there after. I wouldn't say I'm overly picky, I just value my free time (lazy time). I love making my own choices. I LOVE being introduced as "Ashley" and not as "[Name's] girlfriend." 

I have a trifecta of standards to which I now abide by, and unfortunately no man has met all three expectations:  1. he has to be really cool to hang out with for at LEAST an entire day- ideally a week so I can go on trips with him 2. I have to get along with his family, and he has to get along with me 3. I have to be REALLY physically attracted to him (this is not to say he has to be a model...but I should have a hard time keeping my hands off him)

Now, while I am absolutely happy with my life that revolves around me (selfish? perhaps)- there are times that it really sucks to be a single woman. I notice it at random times. Here are some of my examples:

-Technology. I don't care about it. I just want a TV with a pretty picture. I will hand over the money if someone else just tells me what to do with it

-Car. Tires, air filters, brakes vs. brake pads, and that damn AUX plug that isn't working in my car right now. Seriously it all makes my eyes glaze over. Someone else please just take care of it.

-Hanging something on a wall. I think I may have an equilibrium problem or something because EVEN if I use a level, somehow pictures always come out crooked on my walls. And stud finders? What in the hell are those? 

- When I wake up in the middle of the night after a bad dream. Whether it is a really sad one (like someone dies) and I just want to snuggle, or if its a scary one and all of the sudden I hear things in my apartment. It would be nice not to be alone during those times

- Driving just about anywhere. Seriously, I do miss that about being in a relationship. I don't care if a dude drives my car and uses my gas, just don't make me drive. I hate driving. I know you love it, please by all means, you do it.

- Movies. I know, women should be all powerful and proud to go to a movie alone blah blah blah. Kudos to those women, but that is NOT me. I love comedies and thrillers and a lot of times my girlfriends don't want to see those- and those are the PERFECT date movies. But alas, you must have a date for that...

-When just about anything breaks. Vacuum? Washer and Dryer? My toilet keeps running? What the hell do you expect me to do about it? I call my dad, that's what I do.

-Flat tire. Yeah, you will never catch me even attempting that crap

- Pumping gas. I mean, I am obviously capable of it, but its always nice when someone else will do it for me. Especially when it's really cold.

-Staying in on a Friday night. It's so much more legit to say "oh [boyfriend] and I are staying in tonight" than to say "yeah I'm ordering a pizza and browsing amazon tonight, see ya at the bars tomorrow!"

Thankfully, between my dad, brother-in-law and my fabulous guy friends, I get many of those items taken care of.

Basically, what I am saying is- I am a princess. I will (attempt to) cook for you, I can clean like it's my job, I can go to work and make money, take care of your pets when you're out of town, and hell if you're a good man I will probably even make out with you until the sun comes up, then take a quick nap and do it again. But please, don't make me fill my head with knowledge about technology and cars and logical things that I should really know but just would rather not know. You pick out the TV and I will pick out a cute outfit for me to wear and be your arm candy for the night.

Does this make me a desperate housewife? Probably. I'm comfortable with that though.

Being a single girl is a pretty awesome thing most of the time, but even though I love my girly lifestyle, I guess I still value a man. Guess I won't be rallying with the ladies and burning my bra anytime soon.