Soulmate

You always hear the word "soulmate" thrown around. As a woman, I've been raised to think it is the man I will end up marrying. That he will get me. That he will be the ying to my yang. He will be the person that "completes" me. 

I disagree.

I found my soulmate when I was 19 years old. We were in a barn in Indiana. I was drunk and had spilled gatorade and vodka (my drink of choice back then....gross) down my white hoodie. My friend brought his new girlfriend to the party. If you know me at all, you know I will make friends with just about anyone after a few drinks. She wasn't just anyone though.

Her name is Elsa. She and I clicked from the very start. Which is somewhat hilarious because we are the exact opposites. We always joke that I am the blonde to her brunette. I wear pink while she wears black. I was raised a princess, she was raised a hippy. But somehow we work. She introduces me to indie rock, and I teach her the difference between name brand and designer.  We clicked because we were both dealing with our first real heartbreaks. Ah, our highschool/college boyfriends had parted ways with us and while we tried desperately to drink the memories away- we loved talking because we just "got" it. And sometimes there were no need for words. We'd just crank up some Dierks Bentley and drive around. 

It became apparent that our friendship wasn't like most friendships. We used to watch Grey's Anatomy together every week (in fact, we still "watch" it together via text now), and would watch the friendship of Christina and Meredith and laugh, because it was so like us. "you're my person" became our saying. It's true, she's most certainly my person. 

There was one episode where Christina is about to get married. Groom didn't show. She was marrying him out of sheer obligation, though. In the final scene, Christina (the stoic one) starts crying and begging Meredith to cut her out of the dress. I remember that scene vidily. I was sitting with Elsa on her futon in her apartment she shared with her boyfriend at the time. She and I looked at each other and didn't even need words. We knew that we were that kind of friends. It was an understood agreement right then, we'd always be there to "cut each other out" of whatever situation we were in that was hurting us.

Elsa proved that in 2009. The boyfriend I had lived with, and had a terrible breakup with, was in a horrific car accident. The last time he and I had spoken before the accident, I'm pretty sure I told him I hated him. I went to the hospital to see him laying in bed, and it was clear he very well could have died. It hit me, hard. Being the brilliant 22 year old I was, I went out drinking to the point of mass destruction. I'm not joking when I say I had a full on melt down that night. Ask anyone who was there. Elsa, was not there that night, but I at some point chatted with her and it was clear this was no ordinary drunk crazy night. The next day she showed up at my parents house with a present for me. A couple books (one about healing yourself from moments like these, another about being best friends), a movie, and I believe some form of hangover cure. She picked up the pieces when she didn't have to, but I desperately needed her to. 

I am by no means saying we've never had our moments. We certainly have. We've gone months without speaking. We've betrayed each other. We've hurt each other. In fact, when I moved to North Carolina, we didn't even say goodbye. 

I got a call at 7:30am one day from Elsa when I was driving to work. She was crying over a fight she had with her boyfriend, and I didn't think twice. There were no big apologies. We simply picked up exactly where we left off. 

 To this day, I have never found anyone who understands me like she does. When my heart is heavy, she is the one I still go to. 700 miles away and that girl is still my rock. She listens when I talk and is genuinely interested. We are some of the first people we tell when something really great or really bad happens to one of us. She knows all about my life here in North Carolina, and I mean the little details, and I know about hers in Indiana.

When we first called each other soulmates, it was kind of a joke. But here we are, almost 8 years later, still so close. I absolutely consider her my soulmate. She knows things about me no boyfriend ever did, and probably ever will. She's picked up the pieces more times than I could ask for. She knows exactly what to say and when to say it. She knows when I need tough love and when I need a shoulder to lean on. No one knows me like she does.

To paraphrase Big from Sex and the City: "You are the love of her life, a guy is just lucky to come in second"