To the Men of Tinder

So I have downloaded this app called Tinder. Basically its 2013's version of Hot or Not (remember that website? My age is showing..). You go on this app, it links to your facebook, then it shows you people within a certain mile radius that also have the app (keep in mind, it only uses 5 facebook photos). Then you go through and decide if you think you'd like them or not. Then if you both like each other, it lets you know, and you can chat. If you don't both like each other, the other person never knows you even liked them to begin with, saves the rejection factor a bit. 

 

So this app is borderline hilarious. Here are my thoughts about the men on this app:

 

- Um, I can see that girl in the picture with you....with a ring on her left hand. Shame on you. I hope she leaves your ass

 

- Even if she doesnt have a ring on it,  I can still see that same consistent girl in your pictures, I know you have a girlfriend

 

- You work out. I get it. Yes you look good, but sorry I like pizza too much to even waste my time flirting with you (but you probably wouldn't like me anyway, since my photos are not of me in the gym)

 

- Seriously? I can see the toilet in the background of that picture? Please upload a different selfie

 

- I like to party too, but 5 pictures in a row of you taking shots? Come on dude, you're 30

 

- So, I am to assume you like to hunt and fish, since every photo has you holding some sort of carcass

 

- Hey I love all these photos of you and 5-10 attractive women surrounding you. You seem like a really legitimate guy. We should totally hang out!

 

- I think the stern face is hot too, but if i dont at least have one picture of you smiling, I am going to assume your teeth are gross. Next.

 

- I love a beard. It's no secret. Slap a beard on a guy and he's 10x hotter to me. However, there is a douche bag beard, and you're rocking it. It took you longer to shave that stupid line around your face than it took me to curl my entire head of hair.

 

- 10% of the entire tinder population:  oh! you're cute! 5% like me back 1% actually speak to me

 

Overall, this is by no means a dating app. It is just entertaining, and an ego boost at best. I advise people to try it because if nothing else, you'll get a good laugh. If you meet someone off it, hey that never hurt either!