Reasons I'm An Awesome Mom

I'm a week in to the part-time stay at home mom thing and I have to say, I am exhausted down to my core. Seriously, my bones ache. Why do my bones ache, you guys?! What are these children doing to my body? (Probably making it move, if I'm totally honest).

Ever since Spencer and I made the decision to keep Indy home with me full-time for the foreseeable future and Eva in part-time daycare, I've been in a panic. The night before my first day alone with both of them I literally Googled "how do stay at home moms fill their kid's day?" and the results gave me very little to work with.

So, when Google didn't do its one job, I started posting to some of the mama Facebook groups I am a part of. I had to humbly ask other moms how to entertain my own kids for an entire day because last Thursday Eva just wanted to watch Toy Story on a loop and, frankly, so did I.

Today I spent a bit of time researching some of the suggestions I got from the moms of things to do around here and planned out what I'm going to do with the girls tomorrow while taking comfort in knowing that Eva has her first ballet/tumble class on Thursday so that counts as entertainment and I'm good for that day. I feel this immense pressure to make sure every day is fun, everyone is happy, and that I find time in the day to at least eat a handful of grapes.

Then, this evening, I heard Eva over her monitor during storytime asking her dad "where's mommy?" over and over. And I thought, if I spent even a fraction of the time I spend worrying that I'm not a good mom on remembering the reasons I am actually pretty great, I'd feel so much better. So, here's my humble brag and my list of reasons it doesn't totally suck to be my kid:

• I am currently living off a diet of "whatever I can make that is fast and filling" which consists of mostly pizza - and what kid doesn't want the security of knowing that if they want some pizza there is a 98% chance there are some slices in the fridge or at the very least a frozen one ready to be baked
• I genuinely love Disney movies and it takes a very, very long time for me to get sick of one (it has happened, but I will gladly just switch to another Disney movie). Eva knows she always has a movie buddy in me
• I absolutely love to shower my girls with presents - Eva's giant smile and surprised face when I give her a toy she'd been wanting or a dress I thought she'd like is worth more than all the money in the world to me (my husband does not feel this way - which is why I am obviously the superior parent)
• I have the palate of a child so there will always be kid-friendly food options in our home
• I love to color, so spending an hour with a coloring book and crayons is something I consider to be a fun time
• I am a firm believer in Happy Meals or ice cream for dinner when we're all too tired from a long day to make a big meal
• I am pretty certain that the only appropriate way to eat breakfast is snuggled up in my bed with the entire family 
• I am always on the lookout for a cool new toy that my girls will love (and will stealthily teach them something too, mwa ha ha!) 
• I'm extremely empathetic and will soak up all of their emotions until they feel better and I'm drowning just so they won't be sad anymore
• I love a good dance party - in the car, kitchen, playroom, anywhere! 
• I care so much about doing right by them that I seek out help from strangers on the internet knowing I run the risk of getting seriously mommy shamed or having my worst fear confirmed - that I am a bad mom
   

So, maybe I don't know how to fill up a day for a (almost) three-year-old and I get easily frustrated by my infant's insistence on crying to communicate with me when she could easily use her words (I'm kidding...kind of). But, I love my girls and I know that I don't remember my mom's shortcomings from when I was a kid, I just remember when she'd spread out a blanket on the family room floor, order a Pizza Hut pizza, and have a picnic with my sister and I while we watched a movie she let us pick out. A Pinterest perfect mom would never suggest such a simple concept, but it's one of my favorite childhood memories and hopefully, my girls will feel that way about our ice cream dinners, dance parties, and Disney movies on a loop someday.