Life Outside The Highlight Reel
A few nights ago, my girlfriends and I were sitting around a fire and they asked how I'm enjoying the new house. If I'm being honest, at this point the new house feels less exciting and more like a physical to-do list that I've accepted will have to wait for the time being ("accepted" actually means "have been told by my doctors, husband, and uterus that keeps trying to have this baby too early because I'm not resting").
I've had several friends offer to come by and see the house. I've politely declined nearly all of them. Usually, I have a valid excuse - I threw out my back and was walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (that's not a metaphor, I was literally hunched over). Our living room/dining room/piano room (Spencer and I can't agree on what it's called) was in the middle of being painted, thus making the entryway a hot mess. I've said it's too far of a drive and I'm coming up to Raleigh anyway so I'll meet up with them there.
All of these things were absolutely true at the time. However, I honestly haven't wanted anyone to come over because the house isn't perfect. I have lights over my island that I need to take down and fix. I have a wall in my kitchen where we put in a sliding glass door that has only been patched - it needs sanded, primed, and painted. I have an office that has blankets piled in the corner because I haven't found that "just right" container to store them in and pictures on the floor because I'm not sure how I want to decorate it yet. My bedroom is a disaster still, there's no sugar coating it. And finally, every room that hasn't already gotten a fresh coat of paint desperately needs one (seriously, every single wall in this house needs new paint).
So, circling back to the bonfire - my friend said "I need to come see the house before the baby comes!" and I laughed and said, "you should wait until the baby comes because then you get to see it AND hold a newborn!" "Oh, well I'll come again once Indy comes!" "Well, you're welcome to come any time, but it's still a disaster!" "No way, it looks like every room is put together when you post on Instagram!" "Ha, it sure looks that way, doesn't it?"
It was that moment I realized I am that person I hate on social media. Apparently, I'm only showing the highlight reel.
Look, my house is fine. If someone stopped by I wouldn't be mortified. I am Type A, so almost everything has found a place at this point, but it is by no means perfect or where I want it to be. It likely won't be for a few years - and by then I'll start cycling back through and start over. Still, I'm unknowingly curating my life online to make it look perfect.
Believe me when I say it's not all roses over here. I'm pregnant so we get to enjoy all the hormones, anxiety, and body-conscious fun that goes along with it. We have a 2 1/2-year-old who is the human form of a sour patch kid (I was napping yesterday and the child literally climbed on my bed, shook my body, and said "wake up mommy!"). Spencer is still navigating his new job, and I'm navigating 3 freelance jobs on top of my regular job (because I'm a workaholic who can't say no to getting paid to write for some reason). We have a cat that throws up on a regular basis - always on the new carpet...always. That's just off the top of my head.
I look at some people online and find myself envious of their curated lives. One got a new kitchen, another has a new $2,000 handbag (while I prepare to spend that much on daycare every month), another has both sets of grandparents in town so she and her husband get regular date nights, while another is on yet another relaxing vacation. One has time to take a yoga class (or two) every day, one eats burgers and drinks beer all the time and is a size 2, while another spends her days crafting with her toddler and truly enjoys every minute.
But, just like me, all of those people have their own problems that I don't know about, too. Maybe the one with the new bag wishes she could have babies and would gladly trade the bag for a month of daycare. Maybe the one who has time for all the yoga needs to go for mental health reasons, and has had to cut spending elsewhere to afford it. Maybe the one crafting with her toddler wants to go back to work but can't get a job after taking some time off.
We never know the true story and that's why social media is such a double-edged sword. This concept isn't new (I've probably written about it no less than 10 times before now), but it's one that's easy to forget. So, to anyone who I've been fooling - please know I have my own things too. And, my house is by no means all put together.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go fold laundry from the seven loads I had to do this weekend thanks to Eva's stomach bug. Living the dream ya'll, living the dream.
I've had several friends offer to come by and see the house. I've politely declined nearly all of them. Usually, I have a valid excuse - I threw out my back and was walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (that's not a metaphor, I was literally hunched over). Our living room/dining room/piano room (Spencer and I can't agree on what it's called) was in the middle of being painted, thus making the entryway a hot mess. I've said it's too far of a drive and I'm coming up to Raleigh anyway so I'll meet up with them there.
All of these things were absolutely true at the time. However, I honestly haven't wanted anyone to come over because the house isn't perfect. I have lights over my island that I need to take down and fix. I have a wall in my kitchen where we put in a sliding glass door that has only been patched - it needs sanded, primed, and painted. I have an office that has blankets piled in the corner because I haven't found that "just right" container to store them in and pictures on the floor because I'm not sure how I want to decorate it yet. My bedroom is a disaster still, there's no sugar coating it. And finally, every room that hasn't already gotten a fresh coat of paint desperately needs one (seriously, every single wall in this house needs new paint).
So, circling back to the bonfire - my friend said "I need to come see the house before the baby comes!" and I laughed and said, "you should wait until the baby comes because then you get to see it AND hold a newborn!" "Oh, well I'll come again once Indy comes!" "Well, you're welcome to come any time, but it's still a disaster!" "No way, it looks like every room is put together when you post on Instagram!" "Ha, it sure looks that way, doesn't it?"
It was that moment I realized I am that person I hate on social media. Apparently, I'm only showing the highlight reel.
Look, my house is fine. If someone stopped by I wouldn't be mortified. I am Type A, so almost everything has found a place at this point, but it is by no means perfect or where I want it to be. It likely won't be for a few years - and by then I'll start cycling back through and start over. Still, I'm unknowingly curating my life online to make it look perfect.
Believe me when I say it's not all roses over here. I'm pregnant so we get to enjoy all the hormones, anxiety, and body-conscious fun that goes along with it. We have a 2 1/2-year-old who is the human form of a sour patch kid (I was napping yesterday and the child literally climbed on my bed, shook my body, and said "wake up mommy!"). Spencer is still navigating his new job, and I'm navigating 3 freelance jobs on top of my regular job (because I'm a workaholic who can't say no to getting paid to write for some reason). We have a cat that throws up on a regular basis - always on the new carpet...always. That's just off the top of my head.
I look at some people online and find myself envious of their curated lives. One got a new kitchen, another has a new $2,000 handbag (while I prepare to spend that much on daycare every month), another has both sets of grandparents in town so she and her husband get regular date nights, while another is on yet another relaxing vacation. One has time to take a yoga class (or two) every day, one eats burgers and drinks beer all the time and is a size 2, while another spends her days crafting with her toddler and truly enjoys every minute.
But, just like me, all of those people have their own problems that I don't know about, too. Maybe the one with the new bag wishes she could have babies and would gladly trade the bag for a month of daycare. Maybe the one who has time for all the yoga needs to go for mental health reasons, and has had to cut spending elsewhere to afford it. Maybe the one crafting with her toddler wants to go back to work but can't get a job after taking some time off.
We never know the true story and that's why social media is such a double-edged sword. This concept isn't new (I've probably written about it no less than 10 times before now), but it's one that's easy to forget. So, to anyone who I've been fooling - please know I have my own things too. And, my house is by no means all put together.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go fold laundry from the seven loads I had to do this weekend thanks to Eva's stomach bug. Living the dream ya'll, living the dream.
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