I'm Exhausted By New Year's Resolutions
Okay, so the title of this seems really negative, and I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. For those of you resolving to do something big this year - kudos! I'm cheering for you and I hope that whatever it is you're striving for comes to fruition. Genuinely, I mean that.
What I'm exhausted by is the health/exercise/diet resolutions and advertisements filling my life. I don't want to see an ad for an overpriced exercise bike while I'm trying to read the news. I certainly don't want a sponsored post trying to sell me a food journal on my Instagram feed. And if I have to see one more commercial advertising the "new" Weight Watchers I may vomit.
I've spent years of my life in therapy (and who knows how much money) trying desperately to change my thinking from diet culture, and I'm getting better - but I'm not all the way there yet. Add in the fact that I'm pregnant and starting to show (but not the "cute" bump kind of show-- just the kind where your pants don't fit anymore) and January has been torture ... and it's only day three.
I'm still trying to calm down from the chaos that was the holidays filled with visitors and a toddler that was off school for 15 days (and no Xanax because....pregnant). When I'm overwhelmed like this is when I am at my most vulnerable - so here I am trying desperately to keep my head above the water and I feel like I can't escape it. So, instead of shutting myself in my bedroom for the rest of the month - I'm going to list 5 reasons why diet culture is toxic (think of this as free therapy - you're welcome):
1. DIETS DON'T WORK! Seriously, dieting is an industry for a reason. Companies like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and whatever else is trendy are not nonprofits. They depend on your failure for their success. All they do is deprive you of food, which makes you cranky and hungry, and will eventually lead to a binge (that's right, even if you don't have binge eating disorder, you're still susceptible to them). Diets throw your body's physiology out of whack, leave you feeling starved and deprived, and ultimately fail. Even worse? They make YOU believe YOU are the failure - that you have no will-power and that you're pathetic.
2. "Clean Eating" and "Wellness" are 2019's version of diet. The word "diet" has earned itself a bad reputation over the past decade (see point one on why). However, the concept behind dieting (deprivation and restriction) is still alive and well it is just disguised as clean eating or wellness. Look, I'm not saying that potato chips are equal to strawberries - duh we know that's not true. But, by limiting yourself to a "clean" diet, you're saying "X" foods are off limits - which is restriction (which, as mentioned above, leads to binges). If you're really interested in learning how to have a healthy balanced diet and lifestyle, talk to a nutritionist (most insurance companies cover at least one, if not more, session a year) that specializes in a "non-diet approach" (not all nutritionists are created equally) and learn about how you can have balance and still enjoy food .... and your life for that matter.
3. Not every body is the same. I remember back in college I took a picture with a girlfriend of mine when we were at the lake. We were both in bikinis and you could see our ribs (problematic in itself, but that's not the point). I remember looking at her - petite, thin, gorgeous - and realizing that I could starve myself to death and still not look like her because she had a smaller body composition than me in every single area. Literally, my rib cage was wider than her rib cage. It had nothing to do with fat. Looking back, I should have realized that one-size-fits-all diets are stupid because how in the world can a weight-loss company promise me I will look like my petite friend when there is literally no natural way for that to be possible?
4. Exercise is meant to keep your heart healthy - not burn off food. In 2011, I went through a tough breakup. I was convinced it was because I wasn't pretty/skinny enough (despite the fact that I was abusing diet pills throughout most of it) so on top of limiting myself to 1200 calories a day, I would run for at least an hour a day trying to burn off those 1200 calories. This isn't the first time I did this - I vividly remember a time in college when I was at the Y and exhausted and I pushed myself another mile because "if you're skinny, you'll be happy". Diet apps like MyFitnessPal and Weight Watchers' point swap system play into this. They show you how many calories or points you eat in a day and reward you by burning them off. This is a good way to make people hate working out. It's punishment for eating. It's a way to feed the disordered monster in your head, making you think YOU can control your body. Any diet or "wellness" program that teaches you to essentially purge through exercise is bullshit.
5. Diets make you fight your natural intuition. Did you know that you were born knowing how to eat intuitively? I watch my toddler graze all day long, then when dinner comes around she eats a few bites and is perfectly fine to go to bed. She basically comes and goes to her food all day long keeping herself steady and satisfied. She listens to her hunger. We all used to be able to listen to our hunger and our bodies and just knew how to regulate. It's when we started trying to manipulate that intuition that things got haywire. Hunger is your body's way of telling you to eat - it is not something to be fought! Going to bed hungry is not a victory, it's uncomfortable and unnecessary. A diet will leave you feeling hungry and throw off your intuition and it will take a very, very long time (and so much work) to get that natural regulation back.
Alright, I'm going to stop. If you're reading this and rolling your eyes at me, that's okay - I don't need your validation because I have a lot of therapy, nutrition counseling, and medical intervention under my belt to know that I'm right. I am on the road to recovery and I'm leaps ahead of where I was at this time last year. I may not have that "perfect" body that I once strived for, but I have a better outlook on life, a more positive relationship with myself, and I enjoy food a lot more than I ever have.
If you're reading this and any of the content is resonating with you - always know you can send me a private message. It's helpful to have people who get it. We don't have to be best friends to understand and support each other!
As an aside, if anyone starts talking about restricting food and diet culture around my daughter - the mama bear in me will claw your eyes out. Let's not pass this toxic thinking down to the next generation.
What I'm exhausted by is the health/exercise/diet resolutions and advertisements filling my life. I don't want to see an ad for an overpriced exercise bike while I'm trying to read the news. I certainly don't want a sponsored post trying to sell me a food journal on my Instagram feed. And if I have to see one more commercial advertising the "new" Weight Watchers I may vomit.
I've spent years of my life in therapy (and who knows how much money) trying desperately to change my thinking from diet culture, and I'm getting better - but I'm not all the way there yet. Add in the fact that I'm pregnant and starting to show (but not the "cute" bump kind of show-- just the kind where your pants don't fit anymore) and January has been torture ... and it's only day three.
I'm still trying to calm down from the chaos that was the holidays filled with visitors and a toddler that was off school for 15 days (and no Xanax because....pregnant). When I'm overwhelmed like this is when I am at my most vulnerable - so here I am trying desperately to keep my head above the water and I feel like I can't escape it. So, instead of shutting myself in my bedroom for the rest of the month - I'm going to list 5 reasons why diet culture is toxic (think of this as free therapy - you're welcome):
1. DIETS DON'T WORK! Seriously, dieting is an industry for a reason. Companies like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and whatever else is trendy are not nonprofits. They depend on your failure for their success. All they do is deprive you of food, which makes you cranky and hungry, and will eventually lead to a binge (that's right, even if you don't have binge eating disorder, you're still susceptible to them). Diets throw your body's physiology out of whack, leave you feeling starved and deprived, and ultimately fail. Even worse? They make YOU believe YOU are the failure - that you have no will-power and that you're pathetic.
2. "Clean Eating" and "Wellness" are 2019's version of diet. The word "diet" has earned itself a bad reputation over the past decade (see point one on why). However, the concept behind dieting (deprivation and restriction) is still alive and well it is just disguised as clean eating or wellness. Look, I'm not saying that potato chips are equal to strawberries - duh we know that's not true. But, by limiting yourself to a "clean" diet, you're saying "X" foods are off limits - which is restriction (which, as mentioned above, leads to binges). If you're really interested in learning how to have a healthy balanced diet and lifestyle, talk to a nutritionist (most insurance companies cover at least one, if not more, session a year) that specializes in a "non-diet approach" (not all nutritionists are created equally) and learn about how you can have balance and still enjoy food .... and your life for that matter.
3. Not every body is the same. I remember back in college I took a picture with a girlfriend of mine when we were at the lake. We were both in bikinis and you could see our ribs (problematic in itself, but that's not the point). I remember looking at her - petite, thin, gorgeous - and realizing that I could starve myself to death and still not look like her because she had a smaller body composition than me in every single area. Literally, my rib cage was wider than her rib cage. It had nothing to do with fat. Looking back, I should have realized that one-size-fits-all diets are stupid because how in the world can a weight-loss company promise me I will look like my petite friend when there is literally no natural way for that to be possible?
4. Exercise is meant to keep your heart healthy - not burn off food. In 2011, I went through a tough breakup. I was convinced it was because I wasn't pretty/skinny enough (despite the fact that I was abusing diet pills throughout most of it) so on top of limiting myself to 1200 calories a day, I would run for at least an hour a day trying to burn off those 1200 calories. This isn't the first time I did this - I vividly remember a time in college when I was at the Y and exhausted and I pushed myself another mile because "if you're skinny, you'll be happy". Diet apps like MyFitnessPal and Weight Watchers' point swap system play into this. They show you how many calories or points you eat in a day and reward you by burning them off. This is a good way to make people hate working out. It's punishment for eating. It's a way to feed the disordered monster in your head, making you think YOU can control your body. Any diet or "wellness" program that teaches you to essentially purge through exercise is bullshit.
5. Diets make you fight your natural intuition. Did you know that you were born knowing how to eat intuitively? I watch my toddler graze all day long, then when dinner comes around she eats a few bites and is perfectly fine to go to bed. She basically comes and goes to her food all day long keeping herself steady and satisfied. She listens to her hunger. We all used to be able to listen to our hunger and our bodies and just knew how to regulate. It's when we started trying to manipulate that intuition that things got haywire. Hunger is your body's way of telling you to eat - it is not something to be fought! Going to bed hungry is not a victory, it's uncomfortable and unnecessary. A diet will leave you feeling hungry and throw off your intuition and it will take a very, very long time (and so much work) to get that natural regulation back.
Alright, I'm going to stop. If you're reading this and rolling your eyes at me, that's okay - I don't need your validation because I have a lot of therapy, nutrition counseling, and medical intervention under my belt to know that I'm right. I am on the road to recovery and I'm leaps ahead of where I was at this time last year. I may not have that "perfect" body that I once strived for, but I have a better outlook on life, a more positive relationship with myself, and I enjoy food a lot more than I ever have.
If you're reading this and any of the content is resonating with you - always know you can send me a private message. It's helpful to have people who get it. We don't have to be best friends to understand and support each other!
As an aside, if anyone starts talking about restricting food and diet culture around my daughter - the mama bear in me will claw your eyes out. Let's not pass this toxic thinking down to the next generation.
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