Choose Happiness

At work they are starting a new initiative because last year we did a staff survey and the results were less than poor. Now, don't get me wrong, where I work is better than pretty much any global corporation that I worked at before, but the staff where I work have been working there for decades, so  after a re-org when they had to start paying 10% of their insurance premiums they were seriously unhappy. Thus, we had a horrible staff survey.

We have had many different areas we've worked on to try to boost morale. We get to wear casual clothes every day. We can now have 1/2 hr lunches to give even more flexibility to our already flexible schedules. We have better wellness initiatives. These complaints have not gone unnoticed. But, at a certain point you have to be able to see the good at work and stop focusing on that $200/month you have to spend to cover your entire family's medical insurance (insert eye roll here, come on people! We have it good!).

So their new initiative they're going to present at the next staff meeting:

Ah, happiness is a choice! I get where they are coming from. They want people to focus on the good and stop dwelling on the bad. I get it. But, what I think this should be called is "choose positivity." As someone who suffers from depression, I absolutely hate this statement, and I hate how people recite this. 

Everyone has seen the articles or comics talking about things NOT to say to someone with anxiety or depression. For instance, one of the worst things to tell someone with anxiety is, "just try not to worry about it!" Oh man! Just don't worry about it?? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!

To me, "choose happiness" is the equivalent of "don't sweat the small stuff." It's a wonderful thought, I know. And to a degree you do have to make the choice to keep trying, to try to be happy. But, did you know that sometimes that choice can be something as small as choosing to get out of bed that day? Sometimes, "choosing happiness" is simply taking a shower. Happiness isn't a choice, the choice is to TRY.

Obviously my workplace wasn't trying to to take it to a deep level. And I don't want it to seem like I'm offended by it, because I'm not. I am just rolling my eyes at it. I don't feel victimized by their poor word choice, I just feel annoyed that this is a mainstream saying.

I just want to get the word out, to those people who are lucky enough not to experience depression. It is not a choice. To the outside, it may seem easy to say "you have to help yourself", and yeah, we do have to help ourselves. Do you know how self-aware you have to be to help yourself before it gets really bad though? To become that self-aware you have to go through a lot of therapy to get there. And even then, even if you are self-aware, sometimes the depression still wins and you only start going to therapy again because someone tells you to. Sometimes it can come on fast and strong and it seems like you go to bed feeling off, and wake up feeling empty.

Mental illness never really goes away. It is a disease that is maintained, and has to be monitored. It is something that goes into remission and comes back with rage whenever it decides to. It doesn't have to be "triggered" by anything. Life can be perfectly perfect and one day you wake up feeling no joy.

If only, on those days, we could choose to be happy.

So please, as a PSA, please stop using this phrase. Choose positivity, choose to try, choose to fight; but if today you aren't happy, it's okay. You can try again tomorrow.